Debt obligations between acquaintances and friends are always fraught with risks: you can not get the money back, see an offended look in case of refusal, and even spoil the relationship forever. Seven ways to avoid problems.
Given the instability of the economic situation and the surprising optionality of some people, these tips may turn out to be timely in the case when you don’t want to borrow, and it’s inconvenient to refuse.
Position … not obligatory
It is possible that you impress others as a wealthy person, so you are often asked for a loan. But even if you are really wealthy, this does not prevent you from referring to the lack of money. There can be many reasons, refer to the fact that you yourself currently have a burdensome loan or just recently spent a lot of money:
- paid for their studies;
- lent to another person;
- went on vacation or purchased a tour;
- spent on dental care.
“Money in action”
If your friend knows that you have savings, explain that you prefer not to keep cash, but to invest it in securities or put it on a fixed-term deposit without the possibility of withdrawal. It is also possible that you have invested them in a promising project.
“avoiding a direct answer”
The tactic of avoiding an answer often works, so do not refuse directly, but do not promise either. Your answer may sound like this: “At the moment it definitely won’t work, but in a week they should return the debt (or give me a bonus …).” It is unlikely that the “borrower” will patiently wait for the result, most likely, he will “try his luck” elsewhere.
“Never to anyone”
Try to say in a confident voice the phrase: “I never lend money, this is my principle, and there are reasons for that!”. Very often this is enough to close the question. Although modest people sometimes find it hard to give any “no”, this is the best thing you can do to protect your “borders” and interests. Otherwise, it may turn out that your financial stability will always be in jeopardy – it is absolutely impossible to be reliable for everyone. If you learn to refuse, you will no longer be approached with such requests.
Instead of financial assistance, offer another
Politely refusing to lend, offer to help in any other way. It can be connections, physical support as a labor force, valuable advice, a bank guarantee. If there is an alternative, the borrower will appreciate your willingness to help, even without receiving the required amount.
Disagreement with deadlines
In response to a request to lend, immediately ask about the timing of the return. When you hear the date, explain that you will need the money before that date. Perhaps the interlocutor will offer you to re-borrow from someone, in which case the answer is simple: “I don’t borrow on principle.”
When refusing a relative or friend, be calm, do not break into emotions. Don’t get into arguments, just gently convey your point of view to him. Offer an alternative, do not give bad advice (such as microcredit). Undoubtedly, there are situations when, if possible, it is worth sacrificing your principles. Sometimes the health or even life of a person depends on it. It is up to you to decide what to do in each case. These are only recommendations on how to ease the refusal and not spoil the relationship if you do not intend to lend.
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