How to understand that you are being deceived – the method of three points

There are two categories of manipulators: those who sincerely believe that they are doing the right thing and will do it at any cost, and those who know they are wrong, but do everything possible to achieve this.

So says Karen Donaldson, communications consultant and body language expert, who told US magazine Entrepreneur that there is three point methodwhich allows you to determine if a person is lying to you:

1. There are no isolated signs that someone is lying to you, Donaldson says, but you should notice things in general, such as the general way they communicate with you. For example, the rate of speech is very important, and you should monitor its change. “When we speak the truth, our speech flows smoothly. This means that what we say comes from our memory, because it is true, or it happened. If the speech pattern starts to become unstable and the person makes long pauses, then coming up with a lot of ideas and then stopping for a while, this could be a sign that he’s coming up with stories that fit the situation,” says Donaldson. During a lie, people can sharply change voice pitch and speech speed. If there are still long pauses and stutters are more obvious signs. But even in these cases, one should not rush to conclusions, because these may be individual characteristics of a person. On top of all this, would-be liars often avoid uncomfortable questionscut off phrases in the middle and speak in clearly learned phrases in advance.

2. Follow the prompts on the face of the interlocutor: your interlocutor’s head is telling us the truth if we can’t control him perfectly, says Donaldson, again pointing out the need to watch all movements. As an example: with a nod of the head, our interlocutor can nod in the affirmative, while his words indicate the opposite. Another possible sign that someone is withholding information is lip puckering. Even a quick blink or a brief look up or down can be a sign that the person is lying to you, Donaldson says. In any case, these signs should be taken into account together with the usual posture of the interlocutor and in general with other signs.

   According to some psychologists, when a person tells a lie, a feeling of distress arises in his subconscious. On his face, this can be expressed by raising his eyebrows, as well as the appearance of asymmetry. That is, wrinkles appear on the forehead of a potential liar, and different emotions are expressed on the left and right sides of the face. Also, potential liars often rub their nose – it is believed that the influx of adrenaline causes them to itch in the nose. Also, a liar can give out a covered mouth or pursed lips. should not be ignored and eyes, because this, as we know, is the mirror of the soul. Psychologists believe that during a lie, people blink more often, and the eyelids remain closed longer. And of course, a person who tells a lie can often look away. This may be a sign that he is ashamed. But perhaps he’s just contemplating words to hide the truth.
   

3. Watch your body language: in addition to the head, face, and eyes, you should also watch your entire body, says Donaldson. “When we are stressed, there are ways to calm ourselves down. And we touch our bodies too often because the feeling of being cared for comes from childhood,” she says, referring to, for example, rubbing or scratching your neck. “Think about it: when your a parent or guardian tries to calm you down, they take your hand, pat you on the back. We do it ourselves.” Not always, but what a person can say about a lie sweating a lot. But this may simply be the result of excitement, so conclusions need to be drawn more carefully. But if a person fussing and standing in an unnatural position, means that he is nervous and may be hiding something. It can also signal a lie rapid breathing, because if a person is nervous, his brain needs more oxygen to work faster. At least that’s what psychologists think. The one who lies may also suddenly touch or scratch the nose. Donaldson says “If someone is talking to you and is right-handed but using their left hand” is also a clue. Finally, she notes that a sudden change in behavior can be a warning sign. “They’re sitting on the couch or in the chair, talking to you, and all of a sudden they’re moving. They’re sitting on the edge of the chair. Then they sit back down. Then the chair feels uncomfortable. It needs to be fixed. It also relieves stress,” she notes.

These signs do not work with professionals (politicians, lawyers, spies, professional scammers), as these people are taught to hide the above signs in the first place. Also, the signs do not work with enthusiastic people, who often believe their own lies.

Lies in numbers

54% – such is the probability of accurately determining that you are lying.

65% people are sure that it is necessary to lie so as not to offend the interlocutor.

44% people exaggerate events in a story to make it more interesting.

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