How to deal with "eternal victims"

Do those who have “everything bad” in life need help? A person complains and whines, but most people around him want to sympathize and, to the best of their ability, help. But…

“Eternal victims” are a completely unique category of people. Yes, they seek sympathy, love attention, and are ready to accept help. But they are absolutely not ready to change anything in their lives, and they don’t want to. It is much easier to drain the energy from those around you with your complaints. How to behave correctly with such people? The publication BB.LV, referring to the recommendations of experts, answers to the question.

Eternal victims – who are they?

As a rule, this category includes people who have no interests in life. In their illusory little world, they live as if in a cocoon, enjoying the attention and sympathy of others. Toxic socialization completely replaces normal communication and contacts with others. After all, it is much more comfortable to tearfully complain about fate than to try to change it yourself.

Behind such behavior there is often serious psychological trauma, and it is quite difficult to overcome it without the help of a specialized specialist. If an “eternal victim” has appeared in your environment, familiarize yourself with the recommended rules for communicating with her.

Don’t rush to get involved

For a person who wants to be saturated with your energy, it is extremely important that you actively get involved in a conversation with him, complain about life together, and show emotions. Don’t assent or show sympathy. As soon as the energy vampire understands that you are absolutely indifferent, he will stop complaining and go look for another source of vital resources, one more inclined to listen to his lamentations, says psychologist Yulia Sinyutina.

Do not give recommendations or advice

For one simple reason – the complainant absolutely does not need them. People try to give the victim advice and work together to develop a strategy to solve the problem. But if his life changes for the better, what will he complain about, and who will sympathize with him? And an energy vampire cannot live without this.

The only thing he is interested in is capturing your attention and pumping out the vital energy from you. At the same time, if you start giving advice and delving deeper into the problem, this will create an emotional attachment and give the eternal complainer a free hand. He definitely won’t use your advice, but he will be happy to discuss it endlessly.

Don’t try to interfere with the victim’s problems and affairs.

This is strictly forbidden. You just need to understand that the “victim in life” does not want to solve his problem at all. And if you try to deal with it through your active participation, you may encounter not only dissatisfaction, but also aggression from the victim. After all, by solving the problem, you will deprive her of a reason to complain.

What if it’s a loved one?

There are situations when a loved one plays the role of an eternal victim, from whom it is impossible to turn away. In this case, you need to try to instill in him a taste for life and new interests. Try together to choose a suitable hobby, to color the life of a loved one with bright emotions that will tear him out of the illusory world of eternal lamentation.

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